Freedom or Dependence in 2012?

Posted on February 6th, 2012.

On Saturday at my daughter’s school I heard a powerful speaker.

His book explains how many of todays parents give their children too many choices, thereby dis-empowering their own role in the relationship.

We overprotect our children because we don’t want them to feel disappointment and frustration.

So we frequently yield to their wishes, allowing them unlimited choices and soliciting the child’s opinion on small and large decisions. A power struggle results.

In 2012, freedom and dependence will be felt in all our relationships.

This is a 5 Universal Year, a period of decisions and making choices that are sometimes tough.

There are two ways we can take away balance and create power-struggles in a relationship. Both remove the natural result of feeling a Consequence based on a choice we make on our own.

The first is giving power to a person who is not ready to assume the decision-making position.

For example, when a 5-year-old throws a tantrum because he wants to wear his Halloween costume to school the next day and his parent finally gives up trying to convince the child that this is not a good idea and follows his child’s wishes. Accumulated moments like this set up an imbalance, a lack of mutual recognition between parent and child.

The result: the child is never given an opportunity to overcome disappointment, to deal with frustration and strengthen his will.

The second way we remove freedom and create imbalance is when we dis-empower another person by setting up an addictive pattern where he or she has to rely on YOU for answers.

This one is tricky, because all of us like to help others when we see them in discomfort.

However, it is when we ourselves feel unworthy that our help creates a pattern of dependence.

When you give a person the help she asks for as opposed to the help YOU want to give, you are setting her up for success.

If you give her the help that you feel she needs, as opposed to what SHE is asking you for, you are setting up a pattern of dependence. This pattern may make you feel powerful and worthy, but it will dis-empower the other person whom you’re trying to help.

You have essentially created a power-trip for yourself rather than compassionate support.

This is a tough one! Because it means being absolutely clear about your motivations when you intercede to ‘help’ someone else.

A power-trip allow you to feel worthy. It literally creates an emotional ‘high’. So it is addictive. You are allowing someone else to make YOU responsible for them.

But it is creating the opposite of Freedom – you are making the person Dependent, not In-dependent.

Now, in 2012, it is time to empower others by allowing them to fail or succeed as they please.

Three words that have helped me tremendously are:

“As You Wish.”

Embrace your need to help another beyond his or her wishes, and you will set yourself free too.

Saying “As you wish,” allows the pattern of dependence and manipulation to dissipate in an instant.

It’s time to claim 2012 as your year of Freedom – on all fronts.

Love and Blessings,
Tania Gabrielle

P.S. 2012 is THE year of Empowerment and Freedom. Leverage your opportunities brought on by the big shift by putting in place a plan. Your Next 12 Months Blueprint will help you organize your year in a powerful way. Plus you receive a special gift – a list of all your most fortunate days for the next 12 months.

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